Keep your head above the water….

I had fun with Lolade today as we had a lot of catching up to do ever since she re-located; after window shopping at the mall with all the be-dazzled shops and scents of fast food, we sat in one to talk and then the tears started, I was shocked as I did my best to calm her down, here was my lovely friend, good job, great husband, nice house overseas but no child, I sort of knew this would come up but not this way, she smiled eventually and told me a whole lot.’ Dee, I started my 168th period and I am devastated trying to keep my head above the water. I feel like I am sinking and suffocating as my soul feels like it is drowning but my spirit is weakly saying, keep your head up Lolade!

I knew if she didn’t get these off her chest, it would be bad for her so I urged her to continue intently listening to her with loads of hugs for encouragement, vent away dear Sis! I told her. Apparently after they moved out of Nigeria, they saw another Doctor who put things in perspective for them, she was diagnosed with PCOS while her hubby had the lowest sperm count ever recorded in the history of the world according to her. This was never so when they visited hospitals here, apparently all the hospital here did was to give them false hope while pumping them with all sorts of drugs and injections and ripping them off their money! At this new foreign hospital they were told there is absolutely no chance of ever having a child naturally except they try IVF and even this result looks farfetched.

She now wonders why she has to go through so much when they had so much faith, believing their miracle will soon come. In faith, they bought a big family car believing their children are on the way. They have been using this car even with all the inconveniences and maintenance. In faith, they bought a bigger house and the expenses of mortgage and maintaining a house as big is bringing strains on them as a couple. In faith, they go shopping buying stuff for their future children as an act of stepping out in obedience to God’s word according to a prophecy from church. They bought all the works and have decorated the baby room with everything you can imagine, cot, toys, books, clothes, and nursery decor.

In faith they had chosen the names of the children and as often as possible speak them out all the time. Lolade has even gone a step further to open accounts for them depositing what she could spare as often as she can. She is a worker in church, the children’s department, to learn how to take care of babies well. She attends all the programs dedicated to women waiting by different ministers, being touched, and poured oil on for anointing and all what not. She never slacks when alter calls are made, being the first to run out with her baby things for them to be blessed.

She teamed up with her husband to pray and lay hands on her tummy daily declaring she is pregnant, twice a week they fast and pray some more, speak in tongues and declare all the scriptures they found, wrote them out, she carries them around to speak the word whenever she can. They wired their home with a sound system to praise God in advance for the children he has blessed them with; when they go for functions with family, they do not mind the embarrassment as they have been prayed for in all public places for the fruit of the womb! Her husband’s niece comes to spend time with them and is always asking when their babies are coming as she needs someone to play with, this particularly breaks Lolade’s heart as she feel the little girl wondering why God is not answering their prayers if they say always that with God nothing is impossible. How does she begin to explain to a 3 year old that God does answers prayers it is just everyone’s timing is different?

The way they have prepared for these kids coming is beginning to look stupid to outsiders who do not understand but they forge along, getting ready, their bodies, and their home. Bought books to educate themselves more, not relenting but forging on with their visions and dreams of their double miracles as they take delivery of twins; how they plan to break the news of their pregnancy and birth announcement, where to do the naming ceremony and who would cater, take pictures, plan her baby shower, pregnancy pictures, all the works.

Her reason for breaking down today as we laughed and played around was fear, she asks, would it ever come to pass? They have done so much in faith and now fear is creeping in as she is tired of the wait, she wailed, ‘I want my miracle to come now Dee! I want this drought broken and I want the flood gates of Heaven to split open above us so that we can see His power at work. I am sick and tired of this wait, I am done already!!!’

At this point, I had to put my palms over her mouth to muffle the sobs as we were in a public place, the mall, luckily this gesture looked funny as she saw the look on my face utter confusion and she started laughing, I was relieved and started laughing too till she calmed down, I gave her paloma tissues to clean up while I ordered a drink, we sure do needed it and I started to talk….

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