I can imagine how difficult this was for Titi as I have been there and I know she talked to me because she doesn’t know anyone else who knows how this feels and who would not be judgmental but offer solace.
It can indeed be tough and hard, while I have had my own issues about this I remember I had to consciously work on myself or be consumed by depression which is equally as dangerous as how she is feeling now, she wants to end it all she says, being suicidal is one of those things a waiting and expectant mother goes through, only God can pull her through it.
My little counsel goes thus(it was also an encouragement for me as well): I choose to think that every time someone is pregnant I make a choice to be happy for them and I sincerely am because that is a beautiful life coming into the world. When the enemy tries to tell me you that you have been forgotten, remind him of God words (which I will be sharing in the next write-up). Always remember that this is one of those ways the devil uses to tempt you to lose faith, how you feel is not your true feelings, just an attack from the pit of hell.
It took me time to deal with this, through prayers, confessing the word, I had to fight depression and constant sadness, crying in the night and all sorts. Talk to a shrink if you have to, it helps talking when you do not want to burden your hubby about your feelings. Most times, it gets them upset too as that are having a hard time dealing with the issue as well. They may show they are not worried, but most men would cry behind your back and most likely are in pains when they see, fathers with their children as well. Thus I recommend seeing a specialist as talking to a professional who is a Christian helps a lot.
The bible says there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so be rest assured when such feelings comes that you are not being punished in any way as God will not allow it. Most importantly, pray against the spirit of doubt and claim supernatural peace and rest in Christ. When negative thoughts come, the best thing to do is to remember the scriptures you know on the issue and pray them into your life; this gives you assurance of God’s perfect plan for you. His word says He does not lie and He honours His word above His name. My Pastor says His word says as long as day or night does not cease to exist, be sure He will meet you at the point of your needs and answer you.
Titi, have faith and be of good cheer, your journey to motherhood is only but for a moment; it is really easier said than done, but I encourage you to hold on once more, do not grow weary in doing good, keep praying for whoever comes to your for prayers as your miracle is on the way. Sorrow and tears may endure for the night but joy must come in the morning, it is God’s word, it never fails, He knows how you feel and will speak to you in His word if you keep reading it. Know that you were perfectly formed in your mother’s womb and He made you beautiful and complete, wonderfully made. Always have it at the back of your mind(as I do) when you feel you cannot go on and you want to end it that you can do it again with God on your side as He strengthens you, spend time in His word and all these negative feelings will disappear.
I believe that God is with us-every woman seeking His face for the fruit of the womb-He is surely there, hugging us if we let Him, encouraging us in His word if we read. Whatever you feel now does not mean you will not get pregnant soon, I believe your set time is here and we will both testify, keep thanking God for your children, chose names for them and call them by name, buy baby stuff for them, heck, hire me to come design your baby room!(She giggles at this point and my heart was glad) Doing such projects heals, lifts up your spirit as you see yourself getting one day closer to the Promised Land.
Another thing I do is listen to worship and praise songs, I sing along and dance like I have my child in my arms, and see myself dancing for my baby dedication and thanksgiving. At every point in time, believe that it is your set time and your turn next. When you sorrow, look to Him, give Him all your worries, only when you do that will He take control of every situation.
I do not know all, not sure if I covered all I needed to tell Titi, so please guys, write in with your comments, give Titi some love and advice as you are led. It could be medical, specialist (psychologist) or spiritual in nature, I would be sure to pass this along.