To celebrate my comeback to my blog after a long while,  I decided to share this story I read recently that made my heart leap, my heart was leaping for joy of hope reborn, faith renewed and determination soaring not to give up yet, as I almost did, painful as this journey is…reading true stories like this helps to remind me that I am not alone!  Enjoy!!!

This is a touching story of how late Arch Bishop Benson Idahosa’s daughter-in-law battled infertility…

My husband, F.E.Benson Idahosa II, and I met in Benin City, Nigeria when I was 13 years old; our fathers (Benson Idahosa and Gary Whetstone) were friends. I’ve referred to my love for Feb as “love at first sight” because very soon after we met, the sparks of love began to flicker between us.

After many years, my dream came true when I was 28 years old; Feb made me his wife! I was the happiest woman on earth and smiled ear to ear all through our courtship and wedding day. I was so excited to be his wife! The next thing I couldn’t wait for was to be the mother of his children; I wanted so badly to carry his baby.

During the first year of our marriage, pregnancy didn’t happen like I expected. Subsequently, I convinced my husband to go with me for a fertility check-up. He thought it was silly because he was so sure that we’d have our kids. Eventually, just to pacify me, we went for the check-up.

To our surprise, they did all the testing and came back to us with tormenting news. They told us that both he and I had very serious fertility issues and that we would never be able to have a child without In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). The Doctor looked at us both in our eyes and told us that we are 99.9% infertile.

My world felt like it crashed down on me. It was a journey I never expected to undergo. My husband on the other hand had steadfast faith and kept reassuring me, saying, “We will have our children! God promised it, He will do it!”

Following the logical path of thinking, we decided to embark on the journey of IVF. The next year, we gathered our money together from some investments we made before marriage and went for our first treatment. After $25,000, injections, surgery and so many stories that ought not to be told, we did our first embryo transfer. 2 weeks later, so full of hope, we went back to see if we were pregnant and my world crashed again; it didn’t work!

We repeated this process several times over the next few years, each time ending in disappointment. The more treatments I did, the puffier my tummy began to look. Well-meaning friends and family would see me and think that finally I was expectant! They would rub my tummy and give me hugs of congratulations… all the while, but I knew my uterus was empty. Empty! And trust me, I sooo longed for a baby.

After four failed IVF attempts, my husband and I decided to find another hospital which had a statistical track record of better outcomes. We went to New York Presbyterian Hospital, Cornell University. This time, IT WORKED!!!!!
I was finally pregnant! Hallelujah!!!!!!

I carried that pregnancy like someone carrying an egg with a spoon; very delicately… although we were based in Nigeria, I refused to travel back during that pregnancy. I followed every instruction and went for every doctor visit. I was ready to be a healthy mom with a healthy baby.

On July 3, 2007 after a long labour and eventual CS, I gave birth to the most handsome baby boy. He had a full head of hair and to this day, I can remember that feeling when they brought him to me and we looked at each other, eye to eye. We quickly announced it to our family and to anyone and everyone. Across the globe there were celebrations and outbursts of Thanksgiving! He was the first grandson born to the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa!!!

The doctors asked to monitor him overnight in the NICU because he was born via CS. We were so excited to have him that we didn’t give it a second thought. Early the next morning, the head nurse came to my hospital room and asked us to rush to see him. She told us that he was having trouble breathing and sustaining a blood pressure.

What happened next, one could never have prepared for. We watched our miracle baby die. Benson Idahosa III, lived for only 12 short hours. The first time I held my miracle baby in my arms was when he was dead. Throughout the grieving process, we discovered that there was a grace upon our lives that man can never give. We cried desperately; deep tears that I never knew I was capable of crying. Simultaneously a faith unlike anything that I ever experienced began to billow in our spirits. As dark as that time was, our resolve had never been stronger. We knew that we knew that we knew that we would have our children!

We buried our long-awaited son on July 9th. During the burial service, Bishop David Huskins prophesied over us saying, “Within a year from today, God is going to give your family a cause to rejoice.” At the time, I was reluctant to receive this prophecy, knowing our arduous journey of infertility treatments. We returned to Nigeria with empty arms but hearts full of hope and prophetic promises. The doctors in New York told us that we couldn’t attempt another IVF for a year, so, we began to fit back into our life routine. We also began to embark on a project that the Lord had birthed in our spirits during
the height of our pain; to open a hospital for women and children in Nigeria. We were awakened to the fact that if this could happen to us in America (where we had everything humanly available to attend to our baby), how much more is it happening in Nigeria where many medical facilities available are sub-standard, to say the least.

The dream for Big Ben’s Children’s Hospital (BBCH) was birthed. By November of 2007, I still had not gotten a period since the delivery of my son in July. Figuring it would eventually come, I didn’t give it much thought, however, one morning, on a whim, I decided to do a check. I had drawers full of home pregnancy tests and I just decided to take one. To my surprise, it read POSITIVE!!!! I was pregnant again, and this time, completely NATURALLY!!!

God had worked a miracle in our lives! We travelled back to America for good medical care. The morning of July 9, 2008 (exactly one year after the burial of our first son and the prophecy) I gave birth to a healthy, handsome baby boy!!! To God be the Glory! F.E.B Jr. is our son’s name and is alive and doing very well. He is in elementary school and excels in

God answered our prayers and kept His promise toward our home! When Feb Jr. was 2, I started being concerned as to why I wasn’t getting pregnant again. We wanted a sibling for our son. We went back to the doctors for testing and they told us that we were worse off than before. While they acknowledged the miraculous nature of Feb Jr.’s conception, they told us, “Nobody wins the lottery twice.” I was convinced to try another IVF, which I did. Sadly, it failed, just like all of the others before it.

I returned to Nigeria and within two months, I got pregnant naturally! Naturally, I say, naturally! On November 14, 2011, we gave birth to yet another son, Nathaniel Benson Idahosa. “Nate” is going into kindergarten this year and is an exceptional joy to have in our home. While still breastfeeding Nate, birth control was the furthest thing from my mind. I assumed that I had natural birth control, only to discover that I was PREGNANT AGAIN! Another natural conception to the Glory of God! Judah Benson Idahosa was born on January 2, 2013 and is now a thriving toddler with the energy of 100 men!

God has given us our heart’s desire. We are raising three boys, all naturally conceived. Our marriage and love for each other has been strengthened through the journey of infertility and infant loss. God is faithful to His Word! He will always do as He has promised in our lives. He never fails His children. Though it may seem like it’s getting worse and it may feel impossible, keep your eyes on Him with expectation. He is the giver of life and never fails.

My prayer for you is that you will follow the path that God has for you and that your prayers will be answered as God has planned, in Jesus name! Rev. Laurie Idahosa is the Senior Pastor of CGM, Church Unusual in Benin City.


Nothing Is Wrong With God, His Word And You

This is beautiful and I thought to share with you guys. It spoke to me a lot. It is from Pastor Joseph Prince’s Daily Grace Inspiration Devotional. Read and enjoy.

Song of Solomon 4:7
You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.

Sometimes, when we don’t receive our healing, breakthrough, restoration or miracle child, we can’t help but think that something is wrong with us. We tell ourselves, “Nothing’s wrong with God, nothing’s wrong with the Word, so something must be wrong with me!” My friend, if you think that your miracle depends on you, then you are on shaky ground.

In the old covenant, we see this “it’s all up to me” demand put on man. God’s part was to bless His people, but only if they played their part by obeying all of His laws. If they didn’t do their part, not only would they not be blessed, but the curse would also come on them.

Most of the time, they ended up under the curse because they just could not keep all of God’s laws. So God found fault with that covenant because though He wanted to bless man, man’s sins made it difficult for Him to do so. Man himself was the weak link.

In the new covenant, man has no part to play except to believe and receive. The new covenant of grace was cut between God the Father and God the Son—both infallible and more than able to keep the covenant.

God the Son is man’s representative. Jesus represents you and me. So in this covenant, how much we can receive from God depends on how good our representative is, how perfect His obedience is. Of course, Jesus is the perfect Man with perfect obedience. So in Him, we are qualified to receive all the blessings of God! We only need to believe and receive.

Jesus’ blood has been shed for the remission of all your sins. You are now the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21) By His one perfect sacrifice, He has perfected you forever. (Hebrews 10:14, KJV) There is no spot in you!

Today, the devil has no right to tell you that you cannot be blessed because there is something wrong with you. So as you are waiting for your miracle, say, “Nothing’s wrong with God, nothing’s wrong with the Word and nothing’s wrong with me! I am going to receive my miracle!”

Thought For The Day
By Jesus’ one perfect sacrifice for all your sins, He has perfected you forever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Now have you set goals for the Year 2015?

I am in high spirits as I feel I have been given a clean slate or canvas to wield my magic and create a future I want for myself. I see into the year and I see dancing, laughter, rejoicing and overcoming. I add overcoming  because I know life is full of challenges, but God has given us strength to overcome and we will.


So what better time to write your goals and set achievable ones? Thus, I surfed the net and came up with great materials that I have summarised into the below. Credit of this goes to  Google, Mind Tools, Success Power by Sam Adeyemi, Michael Hyatt and loads more, I say thank you for this wealth of experience.


Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what you want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it. In between there are some very well defined steps that transcend the specifics of each goal. Knowing these steps will allow you to formulate goals that you can accomplish.


Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.

The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You’ll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you astray.


Keep them few in number. Productivity studies show that you really can’t focus on more than 5–7 items at any one time. And don’t try to cheat by including sections with several goals under each section. This is a recipe for losing focus and accomplishing very little. Instead, focus on a handful of goals that you can repeat almost from memory.

Make them “SMART.” This is an acronym. Goals must meet five criteria. They must be:






Specific—A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions:

*Who:      Who is involved?

*What:     What do I want to accomplish?

*Where:    Identify a location.

*When:     Establish a time frame.

*Which:    Identify requirements and constraints.

*Why:      Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

For example, Bad: Get in shape in 2015.Good: Join a health club and workout 3 days a week.


Measurable—Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal. To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as…How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished? As the old adage says, “you can’t manage what you can’t measure.” If possible, try to quantify the result. You want to know absolutely, positively whether or not you hit the goal. For example….Bad: “Earn more this year than last.”Good: “Earn N200, 000 more this year than last.”
Money in hand

Actionable/Attainable—When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them. Every goal should start with an action verb (e.g., “quit,” “run,” “finish,” “eliminate,” etc.) rather than a to-be verb (e.g., “am,” “be,” “have,” etc.) One of my own goals is on my blog, thus the below example….Bad: Be more consistent in blogging. Good: Write one blog posts per week.


Realistic—to be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love. Bad: Qualify for the woman of the year award. Good: Influence my community by giving out writing materials to public schools


Timely—A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there’s no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? “Someday” won’t work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, “by May 1st”, then you’ve set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal. T can also stand for Tangible – A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable. Every goal needs a date associated with it. When do you plan to deliver on that goal? It could be by year-end (December 31) or it could be more near-term (September 30). A goal without a date is just a dream. Make sure that every goal ends with a ‘by when date’. Bad: Lose 20kg Good: Lose 2kg each month end


Write them down. This is critical. There is a huge power in writing your goals down even if you never develop an action plan or do anything else (not recommended). Henriette Anne Klauser documents this in her fascinating book, Write It Down and Make It Happen. When you write something down, you are stating your intention and setting things in motion.

Review them frequently. While writing your goals down is a powerful exercise in itself, the real juice is in reviewing them on a regular basis. This is what turns them into reality. Every time you review your goals, ask yourself, what’s the next step I need to take to move toward this goal? You can review them daily, weekly, or monthly. It’s up to you. The key is to do let them inspire and populate your daily task list.


Share them selectively. It is advised that people should “go public” with their goals—even blog about them. However in a culture like ours, telling someone your goals makes them less likely to happen. Due to what Africans have termed voodoo or juju. I advice you do not share them with anyone who is not committed to helping you achieve them rather share with your mentor, mastermind group like one I am in called X-land, or business partner.


The practice of goal-setting is not just helpful; it is a prerequisite for happiness. Psychologists tell us that people who make consistent progress toward meaningful goals live happier more satisfied lives than those who don’t.


Finally, I urge you, if you don’t have written goals, let me encourage you to make an appointment on your calendar to work on them. Writing goals is for me synonymous to success, happiness, confidence, living a life of fulfillment…so what are you waiting for? Get on with it!!!!






I logged on to facebook and saw your year thing which is trending now and pondered to myself …how has the year been?

Suddenly I was transported back to the Watch night service of 2013 where it was declared our year of upgrade and my Pastor read Isaiah 54. I was elated, so excited, as I knew the word was for me. I was entering 2014 victorious, fruitful as that was all I heard. I knew I was going to be carrying my babies this year 2014. So, spiritually lifted, I entered the year expectant,  heart, mind and eyes wide open.

I waited, and then it was January ending, I waited and then it was February ending, March,  April, May and behold my marriage was 10 years. I looked at my plans for my 10year anniversary and in it I had kids who were flower girls and page boys for my second walk down the isle…hmmmm….renewal of our vows, rededicating our lives over again, moi in my very white wedding gown, voluptuous angelic and heavenly …a gown I chose for myself this time and dh in his crisp suit, sauve and sexy as ever…..a rude shudder brought me back to my reality with questions, now, does God really exist, does He? I thought to myself amidst the torrent of tears that I had no control over, if He does, surely He must feel my pain and know that it is horrible and answer me just because…..

Then, I sank lower than I ever have, depressed, feeling dejected, rejected and alone, dh, God bless his heart, tried to reach me, but I was blocked off by this wall of depression, I was sad, oh, I was angry. Angry at the Government for not providing simple amenities, angry at clients who asked too many questions, turned down and lost some jobs as I could not get myself together, angry at everything and angry I could do nothing about it… I sank the more, moody, lost, alone….I was affected, my business was affected…

I managed to go to church, dh won’t have it any other way, and I was closed off, my eyes rolling as pastor preached, ‘I have heard this before, what has my faith gotten me? I can’t even pray and He gives me a simple baby!’ Then, I see new borns and young mothers and I am more angry, ‘why does she get and I don’t?’ I signed out, gloomy and gone. Oh, I still communicated, went about, did what I could, but I was depressed. I started seeking to go back and see a shrink,(oh yes I did speak to one previously when I contemplated suicide) and I realised this time, sbe might prescribe antidepressants. So I came up with a plan, work on my goals and what I could do, lose weight, read books, learn something, travel.  This worked, I can say to an extent, exercise did a whole lot of good and the travel was soothing, dh did good on that, and I got back refreshed and feeling a lot better. 

And then came December, on the first day of the month, Mrs. Anxiety came Knocking again,  I was losing weight but had stopped exercising, ‘what happened?’ You might ask, I was in a race against time, I needed to achieve pregnancy and I strived, spiritually, physically….all what not. Phew. I became exhausted, always feeling tired, with this sinking feeling, until today, I had to tell myself around 2am at the bathroom mirror, mirror, ‘girl you are alive, God does not work with man’s timetable, certainly not your timetable. I realised age is but a number in God’s timetable, what I consider as a miracle which I want, is to Him a piece of cake, normal in His Kingdom. And for the first time through 2014, today, I gave it all up, the apprehension, anxiety, feeling of loss and failure, sadness and gloom….I gave it all up.

I won’t say, I’m not slightly anxious of 2015, but I feel much better, though the world is counting the years for me or my age, I work with God’s time from now on. I truly do not want to over spiritualise this….I just feel in the world, there is a higher power, I chose to believe God is the higher power and I give it all up. It doesn’t mean I will stop crying or feeling lonely but when I do, I give it all up. And so, I saw the true meaning of Isaiah 54, please read a few  verses below and read all when you can:

“Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.
“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
    as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
    only to be rejected,” says your God.
“For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger
    I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
    I will have compassion on you,”
    says the Lord your Redeemer.

God has changed my status, I am in God’s realm child or not. So, as I always do every year, I put my hands forward and ask God to take my hands and lead me into the Year 2015. No matter what it holds, I pray for grace, never to let go of His hands or Him of mine. As I end this, I want to write my goals out for the new year, I have been in a battle with God, asking ‘what’s the point of writing goals, when the crucial ones I write each year I have not been able to achieve?’….today, He said, daughter of mine, you are not a failure because you do not have a child, far from it, you are victorious in Me. I read something somewhere that just caps it all: So, I turn from contemplating David’s example to ask myself…Can I, in my circumstances, “hope in the Lord”? Can I wait in faith and patience without fretting and without questioning God’s wisdom? Can I trust Him while He works in me His good, acceptable, and perfect will? Selah


The Fertility Lingo

Often times I go into my Gynaecologist’s office with pen and paper to write down a lot of ‘big grammar’ …lol. These words can be confusing and thus I come home and Google them to know what they mean I decided to Google for some more Fertility Terminology and here is what I came up with. I hope they are as useful to you as they were for me.



This is a fertilized egg awaiting implantation.

This is the successful union of a sperm and an ovum(egg).

Corpus luteum
Thus is a structure that develops in the ovary and secretes progesterone, which is vital to maintain a uterine environment capable of supporting pregnancy. When the corpus luteum stops functioning, and if a fertilized ovum does not embed in the uterine lining and the placenta begins producing hormones of its own, hormone levels quickly decrease and menstruation begins.

A cycle is one complete menstrual cycle. Most women menstruate on a 21 to 35 day cycle. During a 28-day cycle, ovulation will typically occur on day 14 and in a 35-day cycle, ovulation may occur on day 21.

This takes place when the egg is being penetrated by the sperm and the resulting fusion of genetic material that develops into an embryo.


It is a fluid-filled sac in the ovary that sustains the developing egg, and from which the egg is released during ovulation. The follicle is stimulated to release the ovum by a hormone called FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), which is made by the pituitary gland.

Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH)
You can determine this via a blood test and it is a hormone produced by the pituitary gland. It is necessary to achieve pregnancy because it stimulates the maturation of a follicle (within the ovary), allowing for the process of ovulation.

Human chorionic gonadotropin (or hCG) is the hormone that prolongs the lifespan of the corpus luteum as well as stimulates production of progesterone, another hormone essential to maintain the pregnancy. This is also the hormone pregnancy tests (blood and urine) detect.

When the fertilized egg (blastocyst) settles into the thick uterine lining (endometrium). This occurs approximately 6-10 days after conception.

LH Surge
The increase in luteinizing hormone in your urine. You are most likely to become pregnant if you have intercourse within 24-48 hours after you detect your LH surge, with 36 hours marking your peak fertility time.

Luteinizing hormone (LH)
A female hormone secreted by the pituitary gland, necessary to regulate ovarian function.

Menstruation/Menstrual Cycle

The monthly cycle of changes in the ovaries and the lining of the uterus (endometrium), starting with the preparation of an egg for fertilization. When the follicle of the prepared egg in the ovary breaks, it is released for fertilization and ovulation occurs. Unless pregnancy occurs, the cycle ends with the shedding of part of the endometrium, which is menstruation.


This means a dull abdominal pain occurring at the time of ovulation, attributed to the presence of free blood in the peritoneal cavity from the ruptured ovarian follicle.

One of the two female reproductive organs in which eggs are formed.

The release of the egg (ovum) from the ovary. Ovulation usually occurs approximately 14 days before the next menstrual period is due.

Ovulation Test, OPK, Ovulation Predictor Tests
A home ovulation test detects a woman’s LH-Surge – or the time a woman ovulates, allowing a determination of when conception is most likely to take place (period of peak fertility).

Pregnancy Test, HPT, hCG Home Pregnancy Test
Pregnancy tests detect in urine the hormone your body makes during pregnancy: hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin). The amount of pregnancy hormone increases as pregnancy progresses. The FIRST RESPONSE® Test is so sensitive that most women have enough hCG to be detected as early as three days before their expected period, which is four days before any other at-home test.

One of the female sex hormones, which is produced by the ovary and placenta. Progesterone prepares the lining of the uterus, for implantation of a fertilized egg, and helps maintain the pregnancy.

The male reproductive cell. Healthy male sperm can survive approximately 72 hours in a woman’s body.

A hollow, pear-shaped muscular organ where implantation takes place and the foetus develops.

The passage leading from the uterus to the outside of the female body.

The single cell formed by when a sperm fertilizes an egg.

Now in case I have missed anything out you consider to be basic words, please feel free to send in your comments so I can find out. I also have a list of acronyms I will share in my next post. Feel free to share…enjoy!